So, Feng Shui has allegedly broken the Millennium stadium jinx. Maybe the art can now provide a cure for Wales' semi-final syndrome, which saw Llanelli, Cardiff City and Mathew Stevens salvage defeat from the jaws of victory. It may, however, take a universal prayer, Uri Geller, a few gypsies and a mission to Lourdes for our national rugby team to have any hopes of getting passed the group stages of next years World Cup.

Hywel Jenkins - False Profit?

Maybe though, Swansea's Hywel Jenkins can be our saviour. He's been boasting to the Western Mail that he's the best no.8 in Wales - even having a pop at Scott Quinnel along the way. What a bloody cheek! Is this the same man who was sent home from a development tour of Canada in disgrace, and plays for a side humbled in both cup and league?

Labour in floating voter scandal

Continuing the 'bloody cheek' theme, the Government is alleged to be planning to build Europe's biggest reservoir in the Elan Valley, an area already awash with them. Local farmer, Dai Edwards, told Talk Wales, "why don't they flood the whole of the Welsh countryside so the English never run out water. The Welsh can all live in boats". Perhaps it's not such a bad idea with news that young couples in Wales are unable to afford their first home because of rising prices. The growth in holiday homes (Pembrokeshire has as many as 2,000) and the influx of the Cash-rich from middle England are the major reasons for such ridiculous prices. If we're not careful, we, the indigenous population, could soon find ourselves on reservation-style complexes, echoing the plight of the Native Americans. You have been warned!

Rhodri Morgan should be concentrating on such important issues, not the moral implications of Charlotte Church winning rear of the year - only a bit of fun, surely? Wales is getting a bum deal from Westminster and until The Assembly obtains tax-raising powers the Welsh Dragon will just be breathing hot air.

Adding more insult to injury, the Labour Government has the audacity to suggest the formation of English Regional Assemblies with the powers we crave. Don't they trust us?

Without any powers to raise money for Wales, perhaps we can get a loan off the chief parasite - our beloved Queen. She shouldn't be short of a bob or two after Blair generously allowed her to escape 20 million pounds in death duties.